Various and Sunday

This is just a collection of things, both various and sundry. They’re good things. Funny things. True things. They’re things I heard or said or remember fondly. They’re things that I like knowing and that I thought you might like knowing too.

  • Written by me to someone I only know professionally: “Both books go directly to the fantasies women have about a man who meets her, wants her, and loves her dearly and desperately while pounding the hell out of her every night. I’m just sayin’ ” Guess which two books I’m talking about. Go on. Guess.
  • Via “Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength, I’m gonna need bail money to go with it.”
  • ZeFrank Show: “My internal critic is an asshole.”
  • Also from ZeFrank: “Let me think about the people I care about most and how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances and see the best of them. Let me extend that generosity to myself”
  • Said by my niece: “I quit pants.”
  • On 8/31/2012 there’s going to be a blue moon. On 9/1/2012 pigs will fly. Prepare yourself. It’s gonna be a tough couple of days.
  • From 10 Things I Hate About You: “I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”
  • Today I discovered that the very cool 16 year old daughter of a friend of mine wants me with her when the Zombie apocalypse starts – for comic relief. I want her with me too – for youthful exuberance, fearlessness, and pop-in vampire fangs.
  • From Tab Bennett and the Underneath: “Knock it off, Tab. You can be Princess Kick Ass when we get home.”
  • Said by Jason Stackhouse on the season finale of True Blood: “You just keep fallin’ for boys who are dead. Ain’t like that the ultimate in being unavailable?”
  • I want to write a blog post called Romance Novels Ruined My Marriage. They didn’t but it’s such a good title. Seems a shame to waste it.
  • Said by Dita Von Teese: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
  • Via Annie at
  • Via In Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs,Chuck Klosterman, takes that notion a step further, blaming his inability to satisfy women on John Cusack, reasoning that Lloyd Dobler has set an example that neither he, nor any other man, can ever reasonably duplicate. He writes:

    It appears that countless women born between the years of 1965 and 1978 are in love with John Cusack. I cannot fathom how he isn’t the number one box-office star in America, because every straight girl I know would sell her soul to share a milkshake with that motherfucker … But here’s the thing that these … women don’t seem to realize. They don’t love John Cusack. They love Lloyd Dobler. When they see Mr. Cusack, they are still seeing the optimistic, charmingly loquacious teenager he played in Say Anything.

  • If you are a writer and you’ve ever dated a musician, you know that David Foster Wallace is to us as Steely Dan is to them. Discuss.
  • From Frank Herbert: “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

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